I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
