i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She told me I should be a condom model.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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