Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
