She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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