It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
