my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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