So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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