Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
