tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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