No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
