Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
