I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
