He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
