That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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