I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize