grandma shit on top of the toilet
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm always down for nudity.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
