spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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