She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize