But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
