whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
