My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
