Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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