yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize