Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
