How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I need moral support for this bender
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
