I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
