This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
