Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
