I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
