Your mouth is God's brothel.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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