Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize