I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
no, he came in my armpit
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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