How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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