come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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