since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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