My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is wine microwaveable?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
