They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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