In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She's the barista slut.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
