all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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