90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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