do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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