new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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