Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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