Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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