on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
