the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We are two peas in an std pod
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
