whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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