i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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