Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
