Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
