smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
