i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
