Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
