I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
