Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize