i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
