Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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