I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
