She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
