well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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