i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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