their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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